The Insurance Humor Section

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As I provide a help to visitors for finding lost or hard to find insurance companies, my mailbox quite often has hundreds of letters waiting for me to respond to. Some of the requests for help that I get seem almost humorous.  These nameless copies start with my favorites at the topIf you find your own letter published here, don't tell anyone whose it is, okay?

"Dear marleen I believe there may be a life insurance policy in my name purchased by my children's maternal grand father,  ultimately I would like to get my hands on it.  I believe my former brother in law may have it or it may be lost. we have never discussed this issue, my father in law is deceased and I have thoughts that my children's mother may be trying to poison me. this may be my imagination but I do eat dinner at my children's mothers home all the time  and I have not been feeling well of late.  Is there a way, or a centralized insurance  check by my name web site,   please help scared,    and would like to spend the money the insurance policy would have been written in the years of 84, 85, 86, 87, 88. one of these years thank you for your anticapated cooperation!"

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"The reason I am looking for this company is I want to file an accident claim with them.  I believe I have stumbled onto something they can cover."

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"Can I please get a new insurance policy?  This old car can't possibly keep up with today's traffic.  It has a governor in it and she won't let me exceed the speed limit."

 

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Quilt Crossing
Means Go SLOW.
That piece of cotton bolls
Might Be
A Doe!

Hi Marlene.. Last night we were late in heading for a party out in the country.  As we came over a hill and swooped down into a swale in the road my headlights picked up a crumpled doe right smack dab in the middle of my side of the road.  It must have been the biggest doe in the county and I knew in a flash that going over it would have tilted our little car tea cup over tea kettle.

Consequently, I swerved into the other lane to keep from wrecking on the doe.  Just as I got into that lane an oncoming speeder sped over the hill and swept down into the swale where I was narrowly avoiding a sudden impact with the doe.  My tires were already squealing, but I made them squall some more as I swerved out of the oncoming speeder's dancing lights.  

It was a harrowing moment, let me tell you.  A crew of guardian angels got the car back under control and I spun on down the road to where I could turn around.  Then I hurried back to get the doe out of the road before anyone else had a similar experience.  Two cars passed me as I hurried back.  They had been swerving too.  

As I stopped at the spot where used to be the slaughtered doe I saw that the crew of guardian angels had transformed it into a harmless quilt.  Except for three skidding tire marks on it, the quilt was brand new and quite beautiful.

Everything turned out well except that two of the passengers in the back seat want to sue me for internal injuries sustained while I was avoiding the doe.  Do you happen to know if I am covered for almost having a wreck over a mistaken identity?  I have the quilt locked up tight for evidence if it is needed by a court of law.

Dear Marleen:  Five months before my husband died He canceled his term life insurance policy.  Please send the new address for this company so we can collect any fall-out we can get from his policy.  We really need this money.  The funeral home has been holding the body up for more than a week now."

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"Recently found out that my father died and was not notified."  
The poor guy.

***

"policy is for mother,decased 1/17/02 name: edna strange" 

***

"The policies that my in-laws have say this company is in Boston, Mass, however, I can't get a phone # for them there. There isn't a phone # or even address on the policies. Are they shisters?"

The policies were issued in 1924 and 1929. The front of the policies state Incorporated as a Stock Company by the State of Delaware 1899. Executive Offices Philadelphia, PA. Their logo has a picture of a mother and three children sitting in front of a fireplace. The mother is holding a book. Around the picture are the words "There is no place like home", There is no company like the Home. I would appreciate any help you can provide in locating this company. 

P.S. After reading your humorous letter page, I thought I would inject some humor into my letter. Since this company's logo reads "There is no place like home", I certainly hope your search won't require a pair of ruby slippers and a trip to the Emerald City.

"We don't know if grandma had out insurance or not; we couldn't find a policy anywhere.  Please send us ALL the (insurance company) addresses you have." 

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"I am looking for this company because my Aunt who held the documents passed away. We could never find the policies."

***

"My boss's dad had a policy but the company has moved.  Please help me find the new address so I can make points with my boss before payday."

 

This one is all too true to be funny and sent in all too often to be left out... "I am 8 months pregnant and my boyfriend has just left me with the rent due in one week.  Do you know of a company that gives free insurance to people in my condition?"  

Click HERE for the only help and advice I can give.

I also get many requests to provide free ad space or links inside my popular pages.  Here is the one that really got my attention, even though I managed to turn the request down:

(Dear?) Mr Robert  (all spelling left intact)

Hi - my name is Justin, and I came across your site while surfing the web. I must say that as one who enjoys reading, I found your site very interesting, and will almost certainly return. 

I have a web page - www.ty.com.au - that isn't doing too well yet.  I'm trying to make a go of it so I was hoping you'd consider putting a link to my site from your directory. Currently my site only has 2 products, but I'm working on a 3rd one and then will try to get some more within the next month or so. 

You're the writer here, so would you choose some eloquant words to write the ad with? <g>  I can send a small animated logo somebody made for me to use if you'd like!  Thanks for taking the time to consider my submission.

***

"Dear Marlene:  (the sender spelled my name wrong too)
Received your information regarding my search for my mother's Insurance Policy. You gave me two addresses (for this company) one Kansas and another company, in Illnoise.
At the first one, I called and talked to a Bob and he was very nice but couldn't help me. (He) Referred me to another watts line number and she gave no help at all and passed me on to a group insurance company that assured me they absolutely could not help me.
At the second company in Illinois, I spoke with a Candy who was very very helpful. She checked under my mother's name and social security number. Didn't locate anything so she asked me to send a copy of the policy to her so she could trace it further for us. Her name is Candy H(*) and she sounded very sincere in her efforts.
Now the big problem is , my 83 year old sister who asked me to do the checking suddenly decided to send the policy out rather then get me a copy I asked for to mail to Candy. I had sent her a copy of your E mail to let her know (about) our progress. We are 250 miles apart. She is very confused and it was a mistake to send the original policy. I finnally got out of her that she sent it to you, to a Marlene Roberts, apparently at the (*) Company, as far as I can tell. It is now a mixed up confusion. I thought if you received the policy you could return it to my sister. But since you are not at the Company anyway you will not receive it and they won't know what to do with the policy. It was to be directed to the Claims Department."

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