copyright 2008
by Lin Stone

Please choose only three or four answers.  Is this thing going to
  • hug you,
  • bite you,
  • stab you,
  • suck you dry
  • or hiss at you
    from a dark corner?

Before you finish reading this page I hope you will agree with me that Ink blots are prejudiced.

Ink spots are used by psychiatrists precisely because they are prejudiced.

Psychiatry is the art of making you dream up dark, sick thoughts, then making you feel guilty about the dark, sick thoughts you dreamed up so they can prescribe a power pill to pop that coincidentally costs a fortune, and invite you back next week for the next session, -- if you can live with yourself long enough to make the appointment.

Think about the ink blots they use for a second.  Look at a dozen of them and how would you describe them?

  1. They are black
  2. Dark
  3. Evil
  4. Shadowy
  5. Fuzzy
  6. Strange

***

You're right.  Now,
Let me ask you this,

Do any of these descriptions make you
raise your voice in gladsome song?


***

Let me ask you another question.  When ad writers want you to crave their brand of whiskey do they show you wretched drunks staggering around in dark, dangerous alleys?  Do they show a man in a 73 hour beard desperately shaking the bottle to get the last drop while a naked child tugs at his arm, whining for a morsel of stale bread?

NO!

...

They are smart enough to show you a wonderful party with the lights shining down on gleaming, smiling blondes, with these sweet, sexy people dancing to erotic music that is playing softly from somewhere in the wealthy, cultured background.

...

They aren't playing fair, are they?

No, they are pulling out all the stops
So you are proud to be paying
government excise taxes
on THEIR brand of whiskey.

Make SURE your family has all
the insurance protection it needs.
Compare what you have to pay now
with the family-friendly values we find.
See  for yourself if  your  savings  don't
average 46% better than what you expect.


.

Even psychiatrists have studied enough psychology to know a little bit of color can even make bad things look good, but then, psychiatrists don't want you to feel good, they want you to feel threatened,

That's where they make their money, and convince you to set up recurring appointments with PayPal --  That's why they use those DARK, SUGGESTIVE INK BLOTS!

They know all too well that when they can make you worry about what's hiding under your bed,
or in your closet,
or behind the shower curtains,
and where you are stepping next
that you are open to spooky SUBLIMINAL SUGGESTIONS.

Most people go see a psychiatrist first with just a little problem -- and before a single month has gone by they have improved so much they can t even take a shower by themselves unless they have popped a puny little $64.00 pill the psychiatrist insists is going to help them -- someday soon.

Psychiatrists have to work hard to keep patients Eager to pay any price they ask, just to get rid of the bad images that a visit to their drab, faceless office provokes in the first place.

If they wanted to play fair,

they would at least use a few bright colors
and say,
"What joyful scene do these blots remind you of?

"Why, Doc, suddenly they look like cute little Easter bunny rabbits having the time of their lives! I remember one wonderful Easter when,, 

"Wait, WAIT!
I gave you the wrong blot..."

Yeah Doc. 
This ink blot is not prejudiced like
your black ink blots are
-- is it?

There is always a moral to my stories; here is the moral for this one:  If you are ever crazy enough to consult a psychiatrist, take your own ink blots and ask her what he sees.

The first one was the pelvis of Elvies the day after it got too hot.  The second is a streaking meteor burning up harmlessly, and the third is the bedspread of a famous cowboy.

The only thing worse than a psychiatrist is a doctor that thinks he is smart enough to practice psychiatry without studying.  "Doc, not even a psychiatrist teaching doctors how to be psychiatrists is smart enough to practice psychiatry."

the end

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