Here's how to vote
by Lin Stone
If you believe politicians would never sell your money to their friends, vote Republican.
If you believe politicians would never give your money away so they can feel generous, vote Democrat.
If you believe half the people earning more than you do deserves more of your money than you do, vote socialist.
If you believe citizens must turn their back to the smiter before giving up their money and property, vote communist.
If you believe saving money on public works is more important than public works, vote libertarian.
If you believe the Constitution should have new false teeth installed, vote Conservative.
If you believe the Constitution should have its legs cut off to the politically correct level, vote liberal.
If you believe the President should be a sweet young man who sucks sour pickles, vote Obama.
If you believe the President should take it all home with them, vote the Bill the Hill ticket
If you believe the President should be as smart as the last Catholic Executive, but wearing cleaner underwear, vote for Romney.
If you are in this country illegally and want a fighting chance at staying here while friendly immigrants are kicked back through the front door without a trial, vote McCain.
If you still can't decide who to vote for, stall for time until the election is over then claim you couldn't understand the ballot.
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