Christmas Lists

Copyright 2001
by Craig Lock

  There's More Here,
MUCH MORE!

 

Dear Santa, Please give me a doll this year. I would like her to eat, walk, do my homework, and help me clean my room. Thank you, Jenny

Dear Santa, Thanks for the race car last year. Can I have another one, only this time one that is faster than my best friend's race car? Ricky

Dear Santa, I wish you could leave a puzzle under the tree for me. And a toy for my sister. Then she won't want to play with mine and I can have it to myself. Merry Christmas, Cassie

Dear Santa, You can send me one of everything from the boys' section of the Sears catalog. But nothing from the girls' section. I can't wait for Christmas to come. Kent

Dear Santa, I need a new skateboard for Christmas. The one I got now crashes too much. Band-aids would be OK too. David

Dear Santa, How will you get into our house this year? We don't have a chimney and my father just installed a very expensive security system. Julie

Dear Santa, My mother told me to write to you and say thanks for the train set. My dad plays with it all the time. Mike

Dear Santa, I would like just one of everything. Thank you. Nancy

Dear Santa, Could you come early this year? I've been really super good, but I don't know if I can last much longer. Please hurry. Love, Jordan

Dear Santa, I lost my list of toys, so please just send me the stuff that you forgot from last year. Todd

Dear Santa, What should I leave for your reindeer to eat? Do they like cookies, too? My mom won't let me bring hay into the living room. Your friend, Sandy

There is MUCH More to Christmas
Read The Whole Story!

Make Your Own Christmas Cards

Craig Lock has authored several books, written many articles,
and migrated from South Africa to New Zealand where the sun
never sets on today. One of Craig's very important "missions" is
helping people to achieve their full potential in life by following
their dreams.  The article below is a sample of the writing Craig
is capable of teaching you how to produce.

Dear Santa, Would you rather I leave you cookies and milk
or pizza and beer?

Dad says you'd probably like the pizza.
Write back right away to let me know. Love, Lisa

Dear Santa, Please give me a tank, a jet fighter, 20 green soldiers, and a bazooka gun.
I'm planning a surprise attack on my brother. So don't tell anyone. Thanks, Danny

Dear Santa, Mommy says that you only bring presents for the good little boys. That isn't fair. Brian

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas ?"

The child stared at him
open mouthed and horrified for a minute,
then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail ?"

Dear Santa, How old are you? How did you meet Mrs. Claus? Is your first name really Santa? Can I be an elf next year? Who is your favorite kid? How do you fit all those toys in your sleigh? I have more questions for later. Your pal, Pauline

Best Wishes from the First City to see the Sun in New Zealand

Craig Lock

=============================

Check out Craig's Creative Writing Course at  http://www.nzenterprise.com/writer/creative.html

The various books* that Craig  "felt inspired to write" are available at: http://www.nzenterprise.com/writer/books.html http://www.novelty-gift.com/ebooks.html and http://www.bridgeniche.com/CLOCK/zaniestbooks.htm (Free chapters)

Craig offers hard copies and e-books of his: 

You will be glad to know that ALL proceeds go to needy and underprivileged children - HIS!

And now, for Craig's last bit of advice --

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE WORLD ENDING TODAY, IT'S ALREADY TOMORROW IN "LITTLE, SCENIC AND TRANQUIL" NEW ZEALANDW ZEALANDND

====================

*

Children under the age of 13 MUST HAVE permission from parents before they can  click on any of our links

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How the Bureau knocked out ALL OF THE MOBSTER AND GANGSTER KING PINS in about 5 years. They were knocking them dead, and proud of it. Many trials happened immediately and justice was dispensed overnight. How did we lose that?

Get Out And VOTE.

One Liners, the most popular brand of humor in America.

Secrets of Success, according to Lucy Goosey 

Sound of Music Stories  Why Julie Andrews decided to take the part.

Ink Blots Are Prejudiced!

Doktor Freud had some important things to say.

Bloopers First Class, MisPrince from Advertising

Imitation Psychiatrists  The atmosphere inside is sincere, earthy, and courteous.  Our help is so effective that sometimes we even lull each other to sleep. After years of dedicated practice we can speak soothing, meaningless drivel on a variety of subjects.

***

One unforgettable Sunday our church had a three-year- old preacher, an organist who could only play one song, an altercation involving the offering and a visiting beagle who knocked over the pulpit. It happened this way on . . One Unforgettable Sunday. 
Light-Hearted Stories of Hope 

***

Will Rogers Cuts Loose On The Armistice 

**

Are you sick and tired of being broke?  Maybe it is time to take this three part course in robbing banks.
Bank Robbery, Course 1
Bank Robbery, Course 2
Bank Robbery, Course 3

The Lady Ore the Tiger 
Christmas Lists 
Hot New Dog Race Explodes with a bang from the City Hall in Stuttgart and will continue uninterrupted until the winners collect their winnings on the front steps of the Bank of England, which will be holding the magnificent purse.

The Skeeter Beater, by Lin Stone 
The First Romeo and the Last Juliet, by Earl H. Roberts 
The Beebe Flea Market by Maggie Wood 
Where in the World, by Maggie Wood 
Buddha in the Bathtub by Earl H. Roberts
 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 1 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 2 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 3 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 4 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 5 
Pearls from My Lips 

The Pakistani Perpetrators 

Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts, even if Johnny was so crazy with jealousy that he eloped with the hired help using up all of Frankie's money!

Finding The Right Cook 

Masters of Disguise  tales from Hollywood. 
Stories of Shirley Temple in Hollywood 
Chickens are Cute Little Carnivores 
The Church of the Chaise Lounge, If it feels good, sleep on it. 
Warner Brothers leads the way to Sound movies.
The Crabgrass Connection -- (Or, If We intend to Save America, we MUST quit blowing off Steam!)    Lin offers no apologies for tackling Chinese midgets in this one.  He sincerely believes that we must quit feeding the hand that bites us if we want to conquer the crabgrass in our front yards. 

Is Your Hologram keeping track of you? 
The Couch Potato's Credible Comeback 
Insurance Humor 
Victory over the Virus 
Galded in the Saddle, an exposition of the cure that bites from the behind. 

Passion in a Flower pot... The deal of a lifetime finds romance from down Mejico Way. 
Dear Abby:  A plea for help. 
Ancient Document Discovered by Earl H. Roberts:  This one will find most interest from those with a solid military background, including those who have watched a few war movies. 
Drop Him GOOD, by Earl H. Roberts

Liquid Vitamins in a Liquid World?  What is this world coming to?
Rising From The Ashes, by Earl H. Roberts.  Sometimes we just flat gotta face facts head on and honestly if we intend for the flames of ambition to lift us to new heights. 
The Popcorn Automatic self-improvement replicator program.
Sneakers Sneak Into The World
The Unified Theory of Web Economics and the Science of Selling Gas
Sincerely yours, tired, trite, and untrue.
Were you Scared, or just startled? 

The Tin Tinted Venus  What do you do when Venus comes to life and will love no one, only you?  Our young hairdresser wishes to run for his life.  This is a complete, full sized book.  Please RIGHT CLICK on the title to download your copy to your desktop.

Valentine's Day Speshul 

The Mad Dog, and danged if he didn't bite.
Oldies, older than the Civil War.

Tales of the Broke and Famous
Noah's Departure 
A Google Addict 
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Brand Them GOOD!
The Adventures of Psi King 
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The Book of Huckleberry Finn.  The story of an uncivilized boy that took a runaway slave down the river. It would have been a riveting "coming of age" novel -- but Huck escaped that clause by the skin of his teeth.