Bloopers
First Class

copyright 2007
by Lin Stone

Before I get too far gone, the purpose of the entries on this page is to show proof that professional writers are still needed. 

I will mark this first exhibit to show you the mistakes found in one short paragraph.  The author is trying hard to make a sale, but making little sense and less money.  How can you be ready to take no for an answer and expect to make a sale?  How can anyone make so many obvious mistakes and expect the public to believe he or she is a successful business executive able to teach others how to make money?

I've seen them all but it is my true belief that making money with Travel is so quick and easy you would not believe it. Let me be your sponcer and give you all the tools and education you need to be number one. You must be motivated,energetic and ready to take no for an answer. Let's face it some people just don't travel and don't want to be botherd or can't afford the inital investment of under 500$ if you have what it takes you can make tons of money in this industry. The inventment you make in the business is tax deductable, the money you spend on travel is tax deducable so much you can take advantage of. Keep more is your pocket and give less to uncle sam. email me and i will give you all the information.

DragDown
The High Cost of Insurance

Let us help you catch all the insurance protection
you need for the money you are spending. Compare
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We also have RENTERS Insurance

Buy 2, Get Two
Well -- How many did you expect to get?

Wench For Sale: 

(This Mansion comes) "with 443 feet of shoreline. Complete with boat house w/wench, 2 piers, floating dock, boat ramp and 3 car garage."

This wench probably has ratchet teeth.

***

a sales letter?
I just wanted to let you know the results of our goal to get our product #1 at ClickBank.com with our launch.
In just 1 day, we went #1 and we continue to stay at the top raked item at ClickBank. We have spoken to ClickBank, and they can not confirm nor deny that we have set a sales record. They said they are not in a position to give that up. However, they would allow us to say it was one of the Top 5 best days for any product ever in their marketplace.
Well, if that is what I can get from them, I am happy :)
Now, after Monday, I will evaluate the total sales expected to be about 5000 ebooks sold in less
than 1 week.
Since we hit our goal to get to #1 in the marketplace, I will consider on Tuesday razing the price as the sales letter says.

I sure hope their book is batter ridden then thair sales letter or they will loose half there muny because of requess for refuns.

***

Another sales letter?   I love 'em.

I'm really tired by seeing all the PLR packages popping out every week. It's good if the packages are worth its price. But sadly most of them are just junk. That's why I've stopped ignoring all the PLR packages because I see no value in them.

==========================

Sales Lettre # Tres..

My name is "blank" and I've been marketing for two years now. I am eager to learn, disciplined, and most importantly honest . I've been around the internet for about four years.  Since you read this far I believe you are very wise, so I wanted to ask if you were currently looking for opportunities to make money online?

If so, message me right back! In my business we are all friends and I want you to feel comfortable and realize that all of us are different.  If you think this is spam, believe me, it's not. I'm really only trying to help you. Don't get closed minded, there ways to make a residual income online. This is the best money making program you'll find online and it DOES work! Message me anytime.

*********

Here is an actual ad on a high powered web site:  "We created a product that can't compare to anything on the net."   

Is that a case of too much honesty, an outpouring of humility, or the cry of one fishing in ponds using English as a second language for bait.  But then, who am I to cast funny bones at glass houses?  They are writing far better ads in English than the ads I am writing in Chinese.

===================== 

Are you interesetd to learn more about how the search engines work and what do they need? If you need to know how to improve rankings and get a #1 read this ebook today for free. Although it is easy and free it the best one I read. Quickly you can become an instant expert but you need to read first the ebook. 

Was that another feeble ad in a high powered place?

***

=====================

Having knowledge of anything less than the truth will only serve to put you in bankruptcy court in the blink of an eye, and I believe that this will become apparent to you as you read this ebook. 

***

I'll tell you how we got lost.  We were just simply following the theory that all roads go somewhere. 
And we just happened to find the exception that proved the rule.

Use Generik Viagra and give a pleasure to any lady all day long.
(Question.. if you get Specific Viagra will it only work with your lawful mate?)

***

(And now some advice from another bright Viagra seller)
never hide it from yourself

***

I have done it and my girl says I am her best lover for now!
Yeah, but you just wait until she looks around some.

***

I have really got to start putting all the stupid Viagra headlines together for a book!

***

Marleen, Here is a really crazy opportunity for you...
If you are crazy, click HERE.

Your account is limited to the amount of money that's in it..
 (But I'm sure they will raise the limit if I deposit more)

***

Our product Allows Anyone To Fly Like A Pro!

===

the volume is up, now comes the price

===

FREE TOUR.....FOR YOUR FREE MONEY!!!

(Boy, if I had any free money laying around I'd send it in for a free tour so it could show more gratitude to me)

===

Professional Decrees in 2 Weeks
Will this decree put me in jail?

the end

This is a navigational menu tool.  Click anywhere to find a new and exciting exit to something we have that is wild and wonderful.  

Children under the age of 13 MUST HAVE permission from parents before they can  click on any of our links

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Get Out And VOTE.

One Liners, the most popular brand of humor in America.

Secrets of Success, according to Lucy Goosey 

Sound of Music Stories  Why Julie Andrews decided to take the part.

Ink Blots Are Prejudiced!

Doktor Freud had some important things to say.

Bloopers First Class, MisPrince from Advertising

Imitation Psychiatrists  The atmosphere inside is sincere, earthy, and courteous.  Our help is so effective that sometimes we even lull each other to sleep. After years of dedicated practice we can speak soothing, meaningless drivel on a variety of subjects.

***

One unforgettable Sunday our church had a three-year- old preacher, an organist who could only play one song, an altercation involving the offering and a visiting beagle who knocked over the pulpit. It happened this way on . . One Unforgettable Sunday. 
Light-Hearted Stories of Hope 

***

Will Rogers Cuts Loose On The Armistice 

**

Are you sick and tired of being broke?  Maybe it is time to take this three part course in robbing banks.
Bank Robbery, Course 1
Bank Robbery, Course 2
Bank Robbery, Course 3

The Lady Ore the Tiger 
Christmas Lists 
Hot New Dog Race Explodes with a bang from the City Hall in Stuttgart and will continue uninterrupted until the winners collect their winnings on the front steps of the Bank of England, which will be holding the magnificent purse.

The Skeeter Beater, by Lin Stone 
The First Romeo and the Last Juliet, by Earl H. Roberts 
The Beebe Flea Market by Maggie Wood 
Where in the World, by Maggie Wood 
Buddha in the Bathtub by Earl H. Roberts
 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 1 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 2 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 3 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 4 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 5 
Pearls from My Lips 

The Pakistani Perpetrators 

Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts, even if Johnny was so crazy with jealousy that he eloped with the hired help using up all of Frankie's money!

Finding The Right Cook 

Masters of Disguise  tales from Hollywood. 
Stories of Shirley Temple in Hollywood 
Chickens are Cute Little Carnivores 
The Church of the Chaise Lounge, If it feels good, sleep on it. 
Warner Brothers leads the way to Sound movies.
The Crabgrass Connection -- (Or, If We intend to Save America, we MUST quit blowing off Steam!)    Lin offers no apologies for tackling Chinese midgets in this one.  He sincerely believes that we must quit feeding the hand that bites us if we want to conquer the crabgrass in our front yards. 

Is Your Hologram keeping track of you? 
The Couch Potato's Credible Comeback 
Insurance Humor 
Victory over the Virus 
Galded in the Saddle, an exposition of the cure that bites from the behind. 

Passion in a Flower pot... The deal of a lifetime finds romance from down Mejico Way. 
Dear Abby:  A plea for help. 
Ancient Document Discovered by Earl H. Roberts:  This one will find most interest from those with a solid military background, including those who have watched a few war movies. 
Drop Him GOOD, by Earl H. Roberts

Liquid Vitamins in a Liquid World?  What is this world coming to?
Rising From The Ashes, by Earl H. Roberts.  Sometimes we just flat gotta face facts head on and honestly if we intend for the flames of ambition to lift us to new heights. 
The Popcorn Automatic self-improvement replicator program.
Sneakers Sneak Into The World
The Unified Theory of Web Economics and the Science of Selling Gas
Sincerely yours, tired, trite, and untrue.
Were you Scared, or just startled? 

The Tin Tinted Venus  What do you do when Venus comes to life and will love no one, only you?  Our young hairdresser wishes to run for his life.  This is a complete, full sized book.  Please RIGHT CLICK on the title to download your copy to your desktop.

Valentine's Day Speshul 

The Mad Dog, and danged if he didn't bite.
Oldies, older than the Civil War.

Tales of the Broke and Famous
Noah's Departure 
A Google Addict 
A man and his wife are soon parted. 
The Dust Bunnies Are EVERYWHERE! 
Body Building Inventions you haven't seen yet

Brand Them GOOD!
The Adventures of Psi King 
Gila Bend of Yesteryear 

The Book of Huckleberry Finn.  The story of an uncivilized boy that took a runaway slave down the river. It would have been a riveting "coming of age" novel -- but Huck escaped that clause by the skin of his teeth.