Robbing Banks
The Getaway

Part III of a three part course
Guaranteed to put you on easy street

By: TheBody

For some people it seems that robbing a bank or winning the lottery is the only way to break out of debt, but like every way of earning quick cash there are a number of pitfalls to be avoided. Assuming you've followed the advice in the previous two articles you are now ready to escape the bank with wads of cash.

Welcome to...

The Getaway

This is the part of the bank robbery that so many amateurs get wrong. The getaway is as critical to your plan as any other element.

Many is the bank robber who has jumped in his mum's car and driven straight home, only to be tracked by the line of dripping oil leading to the car in the driveway.
Many is the amateur bank robber whose getaway was foiled by not being able to carry three bags stuffed with money whilst riding their mate's bike.
And worst of all are the rank amateurs who wander out of the bank and directly into the line of fire of the police siege.

Keep reading and I will reveal the low down on how to make a clean getaway.

There's no need to be broke all your life!
Let me show you how to make money at home so you can:

First, Don't Spend Too Much Time In The Bank

It's important for you to know roughly how long you will have to complete the robbery. The easiest way of doing this is driving as fast as you can from the nearest police station to the bank you intend to hold up. The smartest way you can do this is getting one of your henchmen to drive as fast as possible from the police station to the bank you intend to rob. There's something about taking off with squealing tires and a cloud of smoke that tends to alert the cops, and your heist will go poorly if you have your car confiscated for minor crimes like speeding, running red lights and failing to give way to elderly pedestrians.

So, somehow find how quickly you can expect the police to turn up and then subtract a minute or two to ensure you are gone before they show up. As you leave the bank, don't forget to yell madman abuse at the staff threatening to shoot anyone who calls the police. Maniacal laughing is optional but really sets the whole thing off nicely if a film crew has made it to the scene.

A diversion is good too

If you are unsure of how long the police will take to turn up, why not plan a nice diversion. Phoning in a bomb threat on completely the other side of town is a great way of getting all the police moving in the wrong direction. Of course, if you phone it in from your house they will pretty soon be moving in the correct direction again. Parades are also a great way to disappear and have been PROVEN to work in three out of every four movies where bank robberies occur.

Switching Cars,
Clothes and Henchmen

Your first stop after leaving the scene of the crime should be a good place to change cars and clothes. This same spot is the perfect place to betray your henchmen and take all the booty for yourself. The best way of doing this is screeching to a halt beside a random car, telling them all to get out and into the new car and then driving off again laughing insanely while they try to open the locked doors.

Laying Low

Congratulations - you have gotten away cleanly. Now, consider the merits of laying low for a while. The best way to lay low is go somewhere you have never been before and make yourself inconspicuous. Many beginner bank robbers make the mistake of immediately trying to pay off their debts now they have bags full of money. This is a bad idea - especially if the person you owe money to is the bank you just robbed. Instead of immediately paying your debts you should wait until the heat has died down.

"Do I Need To Pay Tax On My Earnings"

I'm glad you asked that stupid question.  Here's my answer:  Many bank robbers have made a promise that they will only commit one crime, pay all their debts and then live the good life. It's worth noting that if this is your plan then you should declare your income. Tax evasion is a serious crime, and if you combine it with bank robbery then you are a serial criminal. Declaring all your stolen money is a great way of feeling better about the crime you just committed and will leave you with plenty of thinking time as you spend the rest of your days in a minimum security prison for the criminally stupid.

the end
of part three
in this remarkable course

Bio:  Like this article? Want interesting and unique content on your site? You can hire Rob to write for you at http://www.gumptionfreelance.com .

 

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