Our Policy On Privacy

My Privacy Policy Statement!

It's been announced by hundreds of polls that your major concern is privacy. Erstwhile surfers are demanding to see a privacy policy of some sort from the sites they visit. Conseches Deplomas, Here's my privacy policy:

I'm as friendly as a dog with two tails. Even my friends suspect I'm running for Governor. Strangers jokingly ask if they can vote for me when I do run. Unfortunately, I'm not a high techie. Consequently –

I'm not smart enough

to know who you are

or where you came from

unless you write to me,

buy something,

or sign up on one of my mailing lists somewhere.

Furthermore, Be It Known

If you write to me for more information on some subject

then I'll keep your address for about 30 seconds

unless I can't answer your question

or haven't done what you asked of me.

In which case

I MIGHT keep your address for 2 hours or more.

Now if you ask about becoming a client

and if I'm eager for you to become a client

and if the ball is in your court

I'll keep your letter on file for 2 days or more

before writing to make sure you received my best offer

or wish you Good Luck and God Speed.

If you buy something directly from me

(meaning it is not an automatic process)

and I believe I might have something else

you'd be interested in some time soon

I'll keep your address on file for 2 weeks or more.

However,

If you sign up for one of the newsletters I offer from my string of social descrepency video YOU'VE HAD IT!

I'll have your address up there and active for 2 eternities or more -- Unless you ask to be removed from the roster.

Even then, In No set of Circumstances Whatsoever will your name ever be bandied about, your x@yz.com be handed to a 3rd party, or your URL be made public --- unless you ask me to, and probably not even then.

There are only 3 exceptions to this never-ever rule.

1, If you have a web site and I believe it is great I'm quite likely to tell everyone I know about it.

2, If you have your x@yz.com emblazoned on your web site I figure you are open for business and begging for letters. I promise I will write to you -- if I ever have time and if I ever have something to say which might be of specific interest to you.

3, If you have a guestbook open to the public and if I can find

something good to say about your site -- I'll say it, loud and clear

on your guestbook.

So that is the cipher and the sum of my privacy policy. If you can't understand my privacy statement chances are you'd never come close

to understanding someone like me.

But you are welcome to keep trying -- because

a) I'm smart enough to know what sex is and

b) someday, I'm going to run for President.